today was a difficult day

"I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don't know. If I'd just... I could have got more"

"my heart is so tired"

I don't understand this hate
I can't understand why

it's like turning air into gold

I feel in pink today, rosy and grey pink. I feel the sky is in pink today, falling down, fading into white. And falling.

I ask you to remain falling, fading and wet

In truth and knoweldge I get confused, if it's simple or complex. Maybe a little bit of both.

Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law make for one hell of sexy combination. 

ugh, I have to dress nice tomorrow

Today I got a sunburn, hanging out with my step sister.
I forget how much I love her and how excited I am for next year

and how I am afraid to be in her position, applying to universities.

I don't want people to leave me.


"I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there"

There, it's a blog.

don't look for me when you're gone

something weird happened here

i feel like i'm losing important parts of me

reading through love and fear

then came clinical depression

This mood is black. And in this mood, words exit my body by two means, either in song or on paper. All others are torn from my lips,unwilling and bitter, extracted like venom from a wound.

I acomplished nothing today. Not one single thing beyond typing these words into an email that shall soon be sent to my blog, full of bitter depressing other entries that people are tired of reading.

This mood is indeed very black.
And there's nothing I'm going to do about it but be angry.


"are you sure you're not wearing a horcrux?"
"nope, it's just a fucked up mood kinda day"

bad moon

Tears come from unexpected places. From between book pages, from across telephone wire, from in between cracks in the side walk, from brillant imaginations. And from these various locations of origin, they fall very far, burying themselves deep with the body of origin, for I do belive I carry each tear with me.

Why I wonder does their arrival come as unannounced as hail in an April sky, falling outside a farmers market of magnificant significance. Death, the idea and concept is not something I normally find to bother me, fascinate and speculate yes. But I believe, hope, that it is something that I accept.

And yet

How can it be so, to leave one half and not the other. While one fades like the rain that cannot falls from the sky but cannot reach the earth. Maybe it's to warm. Maybe it's to wet.

How.

So morbid on the eve of my birthday.

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Sent from my iPod

somedays i don't believe in death

"This doesn't matter. None of this matters. All that matters is we felt it."

welcome home

 This is my third attempt at this.
I'm not very good at blogging today.

 Well the fireworks have fizzled out, the plane has landed and my suitcase has exploded, that must mean one thing; I have successfully made it home. And I do believe that success was a current theme throughout the vacation, besides one day of my sister getting deathly ill, bitchy Asian airport security guards and a lack of access to people's home address and therefore postcards to send to all those I missed very much. Oh, and getting wet. Besides all that it was a very fun trip.

I can gladly report back in saying that my sister and I hardly ever argued and for the most part just laughed our way through everything. We got to meet up with my little cousins, (seen in the picture above) and spent one very hot, very very long, exhausting, fun fun day with them. We went shopping, got jugged by five year olds with way to much attitude, ate some very questionable food, saw a really awesome play, I read lots, got no tan what so ever and stole a healthy amount of craisins from our hotel. All in all, a very good time. 

People in the states are very large, and I had some weird dreams down there.

But now I am happy to be home because really, Disney Land is a very loud, busy and life sucking place. Not to mention money making. I was walking in a world of dollar signs in everyone's eyes. There was a lot of spending going on. But I'm talking about home now. Happy to be home. Why? Because I missed all my friends, and being able to blog and sleep in my own bed and have my own personal space and I am getting really worried about my math test that is coming up. It is a black, fuming, lighting cloud on my otherwise bright sunny blue sky.

This is because I have a very good week coming up. I am going to John Mayer tonight with my sister.  And then I am having Easter dinner with my family who I love so so much and then it's my birthday. Yes it should be good.

But math sucks. It should leave me alone. 

Blabbity blah blah

Becca Fuller. You are a champion, I miss you

Allison, do you have pierced ears? I am glad that you are coming back soon. I hope you are okay, but if not we will cheer you up. And do you know what, in all of Disney land; they did not have one single thing that was Meg themed. No Hercules, no Meg no thing. I even asked. In all the park, there was not a single thing. I was so disappointed. I miss you.

And, get this, not a SINGLE thing was Lion King themed.
Really Disney, really?
Fuck you, I love the Lion King.

For the most part I found myself writting this blog for you Lyndsay. You seam to be doing a healthy amount of blogging out in the stupid mountains that stole you away from us. This is me trying to provide you with some good reading material. I am so very sorry that you were dragged across the border against your own will. Duking it out like a prize fighter no doubt. I wish you were home. I think we should jail break you from that White fish. It would be like a stupid road trip movie. We could make it to the big screen, and then we could have a proper Literate Four sleepover with you. Ugh. I miss you.

 Hannah, The swan princess is not Disney. That made it very hard to find something for you. I am hoping that you got the note that I hid for you in the airport. Otherwise some person is going to be getting a really odd surprise. I miss you. You should come home so we can hang out. But you are coming home today, so I am 
very glad.

Erin Evoy I miss you to. And you Jillian Gibbs if you are getting around to reading this blog.

 Okay one last thing, Disney themed.
There was this one building, and it was my favourite part of the whole park. It wasn't a ride, or a shop. Well kinda. It had all these beautiful pieces of artwork, they were just so pretty. I want to decorate my house with those beautiful pencil and paint strokes. And then, down a hallway that had twinkling stars and sang beautiful songs, you found this one room. And in this room, a room shaped like a circle, the roof towered high high above you. And the walls were magic. They had huge screens, of different sizes and heights projecting everything that I love about Disney. Clips of every and all favourite Disney movies. Just the songs. Song after song, and it was magical. I sat there, and smiled. It was all I could do not to. That was my favourite part. 

Grammar doesn't matter when you're passionate.