i love you but you make me sad

Maybe I need more vitamin D.

Or more time with my friends

or time alone, reading and watching movies.

Because today I am not happy. That is not to say that I am sad, because being sad and being not happy are two entirely different things. Believe me, I know them both quite well, and if there were people, one could compare them to say, a zoologist and a cryptozoologist. And where the profession of these two individuals both sound quite similar and you might think, unless you are otherwise informed, that a cryptozoologist is simply some one that works in the crypts of a zoo, but you would be sadly mistaken. For they don't even work in the same building, or study the same animals. It's the same thing with being not happy and being sad. They may sound they same, but do not be lead down the path of literary misunderstandings of the English language. 

Stampede's done, which means that summer can now commence. We are sorry for the delay. Honestly, I didn't think that I was going to be so tired at the end of Stampede, and want to sleep so bad. It was learning experience as my family, oddly enough, felt the need to tell me time and time again. I love you all, but really, I already knew how to put in a day's worth of work. Honestly. I'm not Zac here. 

"you'll start to wonder ff you're ever gonna make it by, you'll start to think you were born blind"

Ugh I don't know. There were words, like clouds floating in my head. Then I forget them. And now I don't know. I could write about many things right now, about the Minnesota Iceman, the missing link shot in Vietnam, my love and yet lack of respect for cryptozoologist, how I love my friends and how I miss many of them, of my fear of losing summer, my need to travel to the library soon, of my inability to keep up contact with some people that i love, even when it is they that have sent the first facebook message, how I hate facebook, how I miss my mom, trying to locate ground zero of my melancholy mood and my inattention to grammar in this paragraph located above. Whatever. 

One thing that I did want to say is something that i am guilty of myself, and that is negativity. I just don't like it. I know that there is a time and a place. I have been there and it can be really nice to just bitch about everything and be upset, and rage and steam and fume. But honestly, it's my least favourite thing. 

I have a motto, one that I forget about sometimes; if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. 
I like it because in encourages positivity in some. or just quietness. 

Something I just found out; Rob Thomas is the lead singer of Matchbox 2o. No wounder I love him so much

I feel as if this blog is jumping all over the place and it can hold no thread of common sense. Unless that thread is a lack of a thread. 

So to keep up with that thread, I have this stupid paragraph that will shorty follow this sentence. how do yo know that you know yourself? When do you know that you know yourself? is it that moment where sometimes, you would rather just sit, or walk, or bike with your own thoughts and not say a single word for the rest of the day, as if an evil octopus women stole your voice in exchange for legs so you could meet the boy whom has stolen your heart while she tries to take over the sea from Triton, your father? Because if that is even a stepping stone, i do believe I am well on my way.

if anything, it's nice to know i'm not the only one