So it's the end of the holidays, the end of Christmas. And I always get just a little bit depressed on this day. I used to take stock of all gifts when I was little, organize them, play with them and then put them all away to where they will now belong. But these days, it just seams greedy and selfish. So I kinda wallow instead. Hardly improvement.
But I found my Christmas spirit, the one that I was missing. When I just pushed myself that much harder, I remembered what made this holiday special. The lights, the songs, great food, presents and family time. The Canmore Christmas was dysfunctional as ever. But when I got back to Calgary, everyone gathered in front of the dinner table, and then the TV, something just feels so special. It's like I was born into high society or something. Where I get to be special simply of which family I happened to be born into. Everyone watching modern family while we laugh and dance around the living room. It's just one other special Christmas memory.
I had a good Christmas morning, Christmas texts.
I'm tired. And I feel bad because I ditched a Nixon family get together because I was tired. And I am watching the Vampire Diaries. I decided if I was going to be any of the characters, I would want to be Caroline. Even if she is really annoying. Because she lives the best life so far. And grows up a lot over the past few seasons.
The heart is a mysterious thing. Twisting tangled roots up the aorta, distorting the order of the brain. And the scares that remain leave lasting scares.
It's a fickle thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment