never underestimate the power of words, the value of life, the strength of friendship, the importance of hugs and music. there are a lot of things going on now, i feel like emotions are all taut, stretching from our heart to all regions of our brain as we try to establish logic with irrational feeling. it's a difficult and exhausting progress. words fail, and you are left facing the acknowledgment of your own vulnerability, your shortsightedness, your flaws. and i think that these things are important to be reminded of from time to time.
i place a lot of value in being able to recognize your own flaws. because even if you can't fix them right away, it's the first step. and when you are able to openly point out that you make mistakes, that you aren't always right and that your decision can hurt people, you can start to work towards fixing all that. you can understand how your actions might upset someone else if you can acknowledge the source of them. that source being your flaws.
i have used a lot of words today. words attached to heavy emotions and black winged demons that have been dragging me into the abyss lately. but like i said, never underestimate the power of words. because talking it out, giving the words weight and sound, helps, in a way i can't even describe. so even if it takes a long time to get out, (and the result is a bit of a public cry), having that constant anchor of mine to listen to me, to be there for me and to help scare away some of the black is powerful, helpful, reassuring, comforting and the best remedy. thank you. there is nothing starbucks can't solve.
i'm emotionally exhausted. i wrote a long winded message that leeched energy. and it's my final offering. but it's also the establishment of my stance, that being of a decent person. a detached but kind one if need be.
I just want to sleep.
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