I've got two hearts to give away

I can't help but feel like this is the end, and it's a good feeling. The exhausted, content sigh after a long night and before head and pillow collide. I don't doubt that I will think of you. What I am hoping will spring from this is a sense of ease, a gradual decent from the wildness dreams. It was never good for me, what had happened. Stress hurt and pain all sprang from what I put myself through. To say that I blame you is a lie, I don't. Basically I just blame myself for following through for so long. But now, when I see what has happened, I can honestly say that I really don't care that much. I know that I will always harber some sort of connection to you, although be it unrequitted, it's something I think I know how to deal with. I just don't ever let go 100%, a little piece of me is left behind at evey turn. With that lost piece though comes learning, wisdom, (of what little may exist in me now) and hope. Weird really how in the end, this has given me hope. It has, and knowing that makes me smile. It might have be the forbiden fruit aspect that held such appeal for me, knowing that I would not get hurt. I have never really acknoweleged that before now. There is always something about expressing thoughts through visuel aides that helps me so much. That is why I love writting so much. Words hold a lot of power for me. So much so that I bet if I told you how I feel, how I believe I am finally moving on, I would never have to express these sentiments otherwise. I won't be doing that, for you would find me creepy and werid. I am beginning to feel the happiness of a new beginning and of hope begin to seap its way back into the corners of my mind.