You are the closest thing that I have ever know to love. I don't know what to think about you anymore or how to deal with someone that I am over. Basically I need a lesson in life, I know. It's strange, even though I am pretty sure I am done with this all, I find myself wanting to talk with you every day, and wishing that I were actaully sending you this letter. Maybe it means that I am not over you yet. Maybe it means that I am just clinging to you, a life raft of sorts, to keep my heart afloat. It is about this time, in my contenplating of you that I beging to wonder, where do you stand in all of this. Can you make heads or tails of all my actions? I doubt it. If you can, please, help me out. I wish that I could know what you were thinking. The scrary, and prehaps annoying, fact is that, I bet if I asked, I would get a straight answer. Straight untill my mind begins to warp the response into all manner of meanings. There are so many secrets in this letter, its no wonder I am not sending it you.
This year, I can feel some self-motivated change within myself, and maybe, admist all that internal chaos, you were just one thing that I wasn't quite ready to give up on yet. Maybe I never will.
Partly yours in spirit
-r.
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