Habs.

I feel like I am going to be hit by a train. Quite honestly. I feel like I have fallen off the map, forgotten how I got here and am about to be hit by a train. So I sit there, on the dirt ground, so extremely confused, staring around as a train comes careening towards me. And all I can think is what the fuck is going on. Honestly. What the actual fuck is going on.
Maybe the whole feeling like I am about to be hit by a train this is a premonition for some serious shit that is about to hit the fan. Or the work load that is going to fall on me and kill me. Because I actually FEEL like a train is going to come through my wall. Fackk. I don't know if I can deal with this. The thing is, this isn't even me upset or being a whiny baby. I'm just fucking confused. Probably over tired. And who knows, maybe all the stress has just made me snap. Cause I feel like I am going to. Or did, or wont. Who the fuck knows.
So now I am just crazy.
So all those who I love right now, all the things that I haven't done: I am sorry. This is my formal apology that I am entirely off the map right now that I don't even know what is going on in my own life. I consider a room to be a analogy for the state of my life. And the thing is, I had a container growing mold  under my desk. I have shit every single place possible. I cant contain my life so it spills out of me on to the floor.
Faaccck me.

How on earth did I get to this point?